The Howie Dance

by Kevin Lowe

This is the story of a bitter guy
Woke up one day to a brighter sky
A bitter bastard who could never see
Saw right through the bitterness in me

This is my song ‘bout a bad gone true
Not unlike the evil twin in you
The big bad monster you will always fear
Who lets you flounder in a sea of beer

We’re so happy you came along
We’re just happily singing the Howie Song
We’re so happy you had a chance
To be here happily doing the Howie Dance
We’re just happily doing the Howie Dance

DUDE:
Yo, dude spilled his beer on his pizza. What’s up with that? Pizza Beer?!

Chipmunks:
Oh my Goodness, you spilled your beer on your pizza again. What are we going to do with you? Mmmm . . . Pizza Beer!

This is a story of a drunken dude
Cause dough and cheese make a better food
Cast his sermons from an old bar stool
But he who listens is a bigger fool

We’re so happy you came along
We’re just happily singing the Howie Song
We’re so happy you had a chance
To be here happily doing the Howie Dance
We’re just happily doing the Howie Dance

The Big Blue Meanies got another thing comin’
Mean Mr. Mustard got nothin’ on him
And Bad Bad Leroy Brown would shudder for the fear
Of Big Bad Howie and his beer (belly)
Of Big Bad Howie and his beer

This is the portrait of a broken man
Who fixed himself as good as broken can
Took a drink and then he took a stance
Took us over to the Howie Dance

We’re so happy you came along
We’re just happily singing the Howie Song
We’re so happy you had a chance
To be here happily doing the Howie Dance
We’re just happily doing the Howie Dance

© Kevin Lowe